SOAP DISH :15.9.08

CORONATION STREET 15-21 September

John tells Lloyd that it would be better if they moved away and that he and Fiz are going to start afresh and move to his gran’s house. Hmm,

it’s certainly news to Fiz. But will she agree to the new move? Well, she mightn’t have to say anything, as John finally flips his lid on seeing a tanned Rosie, bundles her into his cab and locks the door. He takes her to a deserted part of town, but what will he do with her? We’re pretty sure that abduction isn’t a course taught in teacher training...

Elsewhere, Harry comes round for a secret drink and asks Liz to join him in the yard. Liz says she can’t as she has to help Becky in the bar but invites him to join her for a private lock-in one night. Well, we all know what that means, however, they probably weren’t banking on Vernon heading to the pub to reclaim his wife. It’s going to end in tears, we say. Meanwhile, Janice realises the factory girls have scooped over £40,000 in the lottery. Hooray! Well, until she realises no one has clocked on in work, so she decides to do what any normal woman would do in the circumstances -she decides to split the money with Leanne!And Tyrone arrives home from the medical trials covered in spots! The things you do for a wedding...

EASTENDERS 15-21 September

Abi tells Max she is being bullied and doesn’t want her mum or the school to know about it.

Abi tells Max that Bernadette, the girl, knows about Jack and is calling Tanya horrible names. Max tells her the only way to deal with bullies is to stand up to them. Yes, well, listen to your father, after all, remember what happened to that bully?

Peggy is organising a family photo (hmm, what a terrible idea that’ll be). She tells Phil and Archie that she wants all the family there.

Phil says she’ll never get Ronnie to agree, but Peggy has an idea. Will it work?

We imagine not, given the fact that Ronnie, upon hearing of the happy occasion, point blank refuses, saying: “Hell will freeze over before you get me in a photograph with Dad”. Stay tuned to see how it ends.

Tony gets cross with Whitney for getting a part in the school play, Romeo & Juliet, but visibly brightens when he realises that he can help her run over her lines. We’re not sure if we like what’s being implied here (but let’s just say, you didn’t see this storyline coming in the slightest).

Stacey gets a text from Bradley - ‘Where R U Mrs Branning?’ - just as a cab pulls up outside the café with two lads her and Danielle met in R&R.Danielle asks her, “What’s it going to be? Chips in front of the telly or the big adventure?” Well, Stacey? Are you ready to be a wife again?

EMMERDALE 15-21 September

Nicola fends off the laughter of other villagers and heads of to the first book reading in a ridiculous outfit, lying to Rodney in the process.

Later, Belle (she’s a clever one!) urges Rodney to go to the reading. Will Rodney pluck up the courage to confront his devious daughter?

Meanwhile, Katie is shocked when Debbie quizzes her as to whether Andy ever hit her. Hmm, how do you answer that? Speaking of Katie, Paul agrees that she can be his new flatmate - a match made in hell, we think.

When Donna gets the go ahead to return home, in her excitement she kisses Ross, who then claims it meant something. But can she continue to hide her true feelings for Ross?

Louise returns from her shopping trip and is horrified to realise she’s lost her engagement ring. She frantically searches for it.

FAIR CITY 15-21 September

Heather gets some bad news this week - she’s been dropped by her publisher and the only publication interested in printing extracts from her book is The Northside Post.

Cousins Christy and Malachy have the world’s problems on their shoulders (a collective awh, if you please).

They head out for a few jars, and Christy suggests Mal move in with him.

Depressed Dermot considers his future now his political career is over. Despite offers of consultancy work he has no interest in making the rich richer.