Hi All

Just though I would put a question out there to everyone thats a parent.

I got in touch with a old friend yesterday who I lost touch with a few years ago ( gotta love facebook) like you do when you move around,
Any way I was sad to hear that her and her husband had split up, as we all know it happens. But she left the kids with their Dad.
She is in a awful way and misses them so much, but as she said, he is more stable and consistant in their lives and she was a mess when they split up so they were better off with their dad.
When I knew her, she lived for her kids,, She used to go straigh home after work and spend all her time with them as they were with a childminder during the day. .

So I got to wondering, She knows she did the right things by her kids, but feels so bad. But how many woman out there would do this? How many woman take the kids cos they feel they have to and feel that they have no other choice or that people will look down on them.  Is it because that’s what socitey says we should do?
How many woman would be able to do this?
How many woman could be able to do this? 

I just wondered what everyones opinion is on this?

hailshimmer the older I get and the more life experience I gain I don’t know can we judge anyone unless we know the full story.  I am not a parent myself but I have lots of nieces and nephews.  Your friend must have some inner demons that she is trying to work through and needs space to do it on her own.  Just throwing it out there, would you friend had developed a drink problem or maybe suffering from depression and may feel the kids are better off with their dad.  It usually takes sometime serious for the majority of mothers to leave their kids with their dads.  From what you describe your friend when you knew her it has taken something drastic to make her do what she has done.  Hopefully in time your friend will find peace of mind and happiness, I wish her all that.

It will be interesting to see what the other post on this subject.

P.S. I love your quote on the fairies.

Well said Taurus

- Mise

Oh this is a tough one, I have to say I feel your friends pain, I would imagine it was an extremley tough decision to make, I am only a Mammy for the last 13 months and I foget what life was like without the doll, however I do know that you never know what goes on behind closed doors with anyone.

One of my pals has a friend who is in a sinilar situation to your friend, but there are issues regarding the break up etc, so I guess your pal may be the same.

Sometimes a bit of time out of a situation can make someone see things clearer, hope your friend gets some sort of balance that will be suitable to all her family.

Wow Hailshimmer, its is a very sad situation but you have to admire your friends strength and character. I am not a parent myself but have two close friends who are both going through a divorce at the moment and in both cases there are young children. It is sickening to listen to stories of how the children (access to them etc.) is being used to disrupt the process and inflict pain on the other parent. While I agree that unless you are involved you never know the true story but it is admirable to hear you friend has done the right thing for her children even at her own expense.

taurus286 I know what our saying,, I don’t have kids either but i just wondered what everyones thought on it were.
I do think that she has some issues and when I knew her she had some even then, but I think they are more deeper (for want of a better way to put it). Personaly i think she did a good thing.. She is well aware that had the kids have been with her,, they would have suffered.
But as i said i just wondered what peoples take on this issue was ..

taurus286 thanks.. i found a quote site so i borrowed the fairy quote…

My mam left me and my brother with my dad but took my other brother. She said she couldnt handle three of us, at the time i didnt understand and hated her for breaking us up like that and i suppose i was jealous that i was left behind, but i understand now, she wasnt able for us but i dont think she would have been able to be alone either. Im glad she left us here, im a complete daddys girl now and living with just boys ha allowed me to become a little handywoman! i can fix anything. haha