Please let me know if I am in the wrong here but my boyfriends sister and her partner are constantly asking me and my boyfriend for loans, they usually have the money back when they say they will but still it drives me completely nuts!!!!

I mean they are adults and should learn to get their finances in order and stop relying on us for loans every single week… My boyfriend doesn’t understand why it pisses me off.

Should I loosen up??

No, Marian, I think you are perfectly in the right not to have to endure this. I mean eventually they are going to have to get their finances right, they have to be able to be independent for themselves as well and shouldnt be relying on you and your partner for money. Especially now when things are so tough!!

Thank you…

I knew I wasn’t just being a b***h!

oh you definatly arent being that at all. The problem is how do you say no, the next time without insulting them or your boyfriend, its a tough one. I always find that when it comes to money issues especially with family or close friends.

Well I told the boyfriend that if they ever ask if I have money I could lend them hes to say NO…

I don’t want to cause arguements so I think the best thing to do is to just keep saying no, and then they should get the picture and see that we don’t have the money to be forking outall the time… That way we don’t have to confront them, hopefully they’re clever enough to pick up the hint.

But I don’t know if my boyfriend will stick to it!!

well, this is probably where you will have to take the stand, Marian, and if your boyfriend chooses to give them money, its his choice, but you should stand firm on what you believe, I mean these are tough times, and no matter how good or bad times are, everyone has to learn how to budget, save and so on....its the basics of independence,

My boyfriends sisters partner just rang and asked for a loan of 50 euro!!!!! when he said nwe didn’t have it he asked if his own partner had told us not to give it to him!!!

The cheek of him thinking he can have it whenever he clicks his fingers!!! Really boils my blood..

Just had a quick chat with my fella and he said when his sister calls his telling her that we aren’t giving out any more loans and he sounds serious so I delighted now.

fair play to you, marian, hold your ground!!!!

That’s a bad situation Marian- tell them to set up an overdraft like everyone else!!!

I agree with Scarie, we all have to look after ourselves, its about time they did the same. If this goes on, the sums will probably only get larger & larger. By cutting them off, you’d probably be doing far better for them in the long run.

Thanks for all your support girls, its much appreciated. Thank god there are woman like ye out the that have a bit of common sense like myself.